Remember Me for Centuries

The prompt is legend and I instantly think about the song "Centuries" by Fall Out Boy. Let's just talk about that song and music video then.

The music video starts with a scene set in ancient Rome. A few seconds into the video, I had got the epic vibe then there was a lady in white gown with two lions behind her and some background done with annoying editing then I remembered that I was watching Fall Out Boy music video.

I like the lyrics to the song. It begins with "Some legends are told. Some turn to dust or to gold...." In the video we see a hooded man give stuff to each member of Fall Out Boy who are dressed in gladiator clothes. On a side note, they look so damn fine in such clothes.

There are some religious symbols in this video, I guess, like a crucified man, a lady with gown and veil surrounded by some people, and a man with mitre accompanied by three ladies. If anyone can explain that symbol, please leave me a comment. Thank you.

Next in the video, the boys fight a big man. Many people watch them including some from royalty. I adore the look of the beautiful lady who wears maroon dress with intricate pattern and pretty updo on her head (crown braid and bun).

Right when the lyrics come to "We've been here forever and here's the frozen proof. I could scream forever. We are the poisoned youth," the boys used the stuff given by the hooded man: rope, stone, and wrapping leather (?). They wrapped the stone in leather and tied it with rope. Pete then used it to attack the big man by doing hammer-throw style.

The boys win! After that the hooded man took of his hood and it is revealed that he has wings. 

The video has open ending with the boys having to face another opponent. 

If you have watched the video and you think I miss some details please tell me. Also, is the right phrase in this song "frozen proof", "chosen fruit", or "frozen fruit"?

This Ride is a Wild One

I like the song "Missing You" by All Time Low. It's about mental health. The lyrics address some issues relating to it.

The first words are, "I heard that you've been self-medicating in the quiet of your room, your sweet suburban tomb." This is the first time I find a song that talks about self medication. Attention everyone, this is important: psychotherapy is not a joke. The medicine for patients with psychiatry condition is not like paracetamol that you can just buy without prescription and you'll be okay. If you want psychiatric medication, see a psychiatrist.

I like the lines, 

"You've come this far,

you're all cleaned up,

you made a mess again,

there's no more trying,

time to sort yourself out..."

Those lines talk about recovery and relapse. For those who experience this, I believe you can go through this, even when it seems impossible.

I'm also impressed with the line, "Hold on tight, this ride is a wild one." That line describes the journey with mental health: it's not always easy, it's wild, but as always, we can pass it.

And come the lines with strange power,

"Grit your teeth, and pull your hair,

paint the walls black, and scream, 'Fuck the world,

'cause it's my life, I'm gonna take it back,'

and never for a second blame yourself."

I really like the part, ".... it's my life, I'm gonna take it back," because damn, it reminds me that no matter the circumstance, I have the power to take my life back and have control over it.

There are still some parts of the lyrics that I haven't mentioned in this post. Another post, maybe? 

I guess someday if I have to explain about mental health, I would also recommend this song because why not, this song is well written and it talks about important issue.

Run Away Like It was Yesterday

Some songs can put into certain mood or make you imagine things. This time I want to talk about the song Bulletproof Heart by My Chemical Romance. 

That song cheers me up. However it does more than just cheering up. Everytime I listen to that song, I imagine my girl friend and I run while laughing after doing silly thing. We dash to avoid people shouting at us. 

Beside, that song is indeed about run away. As Gerard Way said before performing that song in Hurricane festival 2011, "There's nothing wrong with running and never looking back." I have mixed feeling about what Gerard Way said. The idea of running away sounds good but doesn't sound right to me. No matter how bad my situation is, I don't think it's so bad that I need to run away. I'm not that easy to leave something, either. I don't even leave an abandoned group chat, duh.

Then I think maybe that "Bulletproof Heart" song is not for me. That song is for people who feel trapped in bad place or bad condition. That song is for people who are stuck with bad people. It's for those who fight their own demons, or with their dark past. For those kind of people, running away is necessary. It even takes certain kind or courage for them to run away from their situation and save themselves.

Maybe someday that song will mean more than two girls running away after doing silly things. Who knows?

The Moon and Two Songs

The prompt is moon and I instantly think about a part in Northern Downpour lyrics, "Hey moon, please forget to fall down," and that part in When the Day Met the Night, "When the moon fell in love with the sun, all was golden in the sky. All was golden when the day met the night."

Also, the moon looks beautiful tonight seen from my place.

Whom Will You Listen to Music with?

A while ago, a friend of mine shared in facebook about his Spotify Game of Thrones character. It is to find out which Game of Thrones character you will listen to music with. If you're curious, you can try it here.

I tried that and my Game of Thrones match is Joffrey Baratheon. It was because my Spotify playlist was 65% emo. I laughed when I saw the result. After getting the result, I could see "The Honoured Playlist of King Joffrey Baratheon" and I found "Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance. Great.

I actually hoped I shared music taste with the characters I admire, like Tyrion Lannister, Olenna Tyrell, or Podrick Payne. However, considering that Joffrey listened to My Chemical Romance, I don't mind listening to music with him as long as he doesn't harm me or my family. Oh well, he won't because 1) he's fictional, 2) he has joined the black parade (but not as the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned).

Now let's play the G note.

Don't Need to Fear a Hand for Help

A while ago, I discovered a song "Where I Belong" by Ryan Ross. You can listen to it in soundcloud. I also find fan-made lyrics video in YouTube (turn on the subtitle).

If you read the YouTube comments, you will see that many of them talk about the line, "I know I should've never left." They think that perhaps he regrets leaving Panic! At The Disco and they get "feels" from that line. I admit, at first I also got "feels" from it.

However, as I listen to the song over, I got hit by the lines "Don't need to fear a hand for help." Damn it, Ryan Ross.

That one line reminds me of myself. Many times I find myself in big problem and I don't ask for help. I usually think, "It's not a big deal. I'm fine. I can solve it." When I finally can't solve it, and the problem reaches crisis, that's when I ask for help. Often I get asked, "Why didn't you just tell me earlier?" Difficult question. I can't answer that. I really don't have valid reason about why I don't ask for help earlier. Maybe it's because I'm emotionally reserved, or I'm secretly afraid of something wrong that might happen if I ask for help. Maybe I just can't trust people easily. 

Well, I guess I need to gather courage to ask for help with some unsolved problems because, as Ryan Ross said, "This war ain't gonna fix itself." 

Songs That Sounds Like Fiction

Yesterday's prompt is "stairway" and my mind instantly remember the song Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin.  I mention that song several times in this blog, by the way. 

Stairway to Heaven is one of those songs which lyrics sound like fiction. The story features a lady who is buying a stairway to heaven. My favourite is the live version in Madison Square Garden, New York city, 1973. Not only that we can listen to longer solo guitar by Jimmy Page, we can also watch Robert Plant's gesture. Robert Plant did look like telling a story in that live version.

Another fiction-like song is Hotel California by Eagles. It tells a story about a hotel on a dark desert highway but it later turns out that the hotel is only programmed to receive. I looked for the live version and I found this video. I was surprised to see that the singer also played drum. That was rare for me. On a side note, my favourite part of that song lyrics is "This could be heaven or this could be hell." That describes my life choice.

I also like Temple of the King by Rainbow. For some unknown reasons, everytime I listen to that song, I remember Kung Fu Panda. The strong young man in that song is Po and the temple of the king is Jade Palace. Really, I'm stuck with that messed up interpretation. I'm sorry, Ritchie Blackmore. I usually listen to this version but when I searched for the live version, I found this.

And finally, another song that sounds like fiction - which I happen to mention a lot in this blog - is Build God then We'll Talk by Panic! At The Disco. The song sets in a substandard motel and the characters are an attorney, his Mrs., and a virgin. The attorney cheated with the virgin but his Mrs. chose to stay with him: wonderful caricature of intimacy. How did Ryan Ross get the idea for the lyrics? My favourite version of that song is from Live in Denver because we can listen to Brendon Urie's vocal, watch his expression and gesture (he really told a story), and listen to Ryan Ross' damn-fine part.

Oh, by the way, I think it would be nice if someone write fiction based on any song lyrics in this post. Write about that lady with stairway to heaven. What will happen to her and the stairway? Will she take someone or some people to walk on the stairway with her? Write about that person in Hotel California. What will happen to him? Will he try to escape or accept his fate? Write about that strong young man. Will the king give him task or something? Write about the people in that motel. What will happen to the virgin after she begins to work at the firm? What does the Mrs. keep in her purse? Will the lawyer leave his Mrs or stay with her?

Hyperventilating Fangirl

I like Panic! At The Disco but I don't know all of their songs. Today was the first time I heard the song "She Had the World" and I loved it. The song was beautiful and I got teary eyes from the emotion. After that, I heard the part where Ryan sang and I made hyperventilating noise.

I didn't really have difficulty in breathing when listening to Ryan Ross. It was just kind of habit. I don't always like his voice but when his voice is damn fine (in my opinion), I make hyperventilating noise. I haven't found out why. I know that some psychological condition like panic attack can cause real hyperventilation but I didn't experience panic attack. I experience Panic! At The Disco attack. Are they the same thing? I don't think so.

Idea for next research or whatever: cause of hyperventilation among fangirl. Anyone involved in fandom and interested in pulmonology and neuropsychiatry? Here I've given you idea.

Z Berg's Personal Narrative

A few days ago I opened Ryan Ross' facebook page and scrolled a bit too far through it. Don't ask me why I did that.

I found a post from 2014 about Z Berg's EP. In the last paragraph, he said, "If I had to offer one piece of advice: Write a song that moves people, and write it from within yourself. Your personal narrative is more engaging and moving than anything else you can imagine in your mind. Z writes real, personal songs, and that's why they're as powerful as they are."

I listened from soundcloud and my first impression was, I felt comfortable to listen to the songs, even before I understood the lyrics.

I like the song Charades. On a side note, when I read the word "charades" I felt familiar then I realised that my family car is Daihatsu Charade. Fine, then.

I searched for the lyrics and found them on Z Berg's bandcamp. That moment, I understood what Ryan Ross meant with "real, personal songs." The lyrics are honest but not brutal. They're beautiful, delicate even. 

The lyrics for "Killing Time" song touched me. It talks about dysfunctional relationship (I guess) and instead of expressing direct anger or sadness, this song expresses a kind of frustration. It's the feeling when your common sense tells you something is wrong but you convince yourself that it's all right. What kind of feeling is that? This time, I still call that frustation, and it doesn't only happen in relationship.

In some ways, I find the song "I Fall for the Same Face" funny. It reminds me of that time when I was a teenager and I was always attracted to guys who, have almost similar features. Even my friends could see which guy I would be interested in because it was quite predictable.

And that was how I found comfort in listening to a songwriter's - as Ryan Ross said - personal narrative.

I Try Spotify

Daphne from Volume Up wrote a post "5 Ways to Discover Your New Favorite Band" and she suggested Spotify as her first recommendation.

There are two versions: free and premium. I try the free version (it's called free version, right?). As far as I know, in premium version, there won't be any advertisement in random time between songs. 

I chose only a few songs so the list doesn't look overwhelming because I always have the urge to delete files when the folder is full but don't know which file to delete.

I started with Panic! At The Disco (when will this fangirling phase be over?) and only chose maximum three songs from each album. Then I found the album Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance and I thought, "I like all of them. I will feel guilty to leave any song out," so I added all of them to the list. Of course I also put Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin.

I haven't tried any songs in my "Discover" feature. There are so many of them and I still have many times to discover.

Instead, I tried the "Radio", chose rock genre, and found a song called "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo Springfield. I later found out that Buffalo Springfield was an old rock band. My mom's influence, again.

As someone whose musical routine often depends on YouTube (yes, that's me), I think Spotify is nice. It's a music streamer so it doesn't take too long time to load and listen to the music. Saying that makes me feel like I cheat on YouTube by the way.

Mom, This is Panic! At The Disco (This Post is not a Fanfiction)

Last Sunday, I told my mom about that song cover overload with Dika. I said, "Dika liked Bohemian Rhapsody but he didn't want to open its version by Panic! At The Disco because he knew it's my favourite. Then he shared a cover on facebook and his friend gave him link to Panic! At The Disco's version. So, he opened it." My mom laughed.

I added more stories, "I like Panic! At The Disco. Their songs are great and the so are the lyrics. Some of the lyrics sound more like short story to me. There is this song called 'Build God then We'll Talk' which is about a motel with a hint of asbestos and formaldehyde. In that motel there is a lawyer and his wife. The lawyer has an affair but his wife chose to stay with him because she needs his money. See, mom? That sounds like a story. A novel, maybe."

Don't ask me why of all the songs by P!ATD, I chose to tell my mother about that one.

On Monday, I showed P!ATD's cover of Bohemian Rhapsody to my mom. She said, "This is great. His voice. It's like the original. Wait, I'm curious about the reffrain." Then the reffrain played and my mother liked it, "Wow, the guitarist is also good." In my mind, I was like: yes, mom!

I then remembered that I had showed my mom the video of P!ATD perform "Build God then We'll Talk" live in Denver. I told my mom, "This is that band who once used circus as their theme. Now the vocalist is shirtless (yes, I said this)." She answered, "Some artists like to perform shirtless on stage. You know Kaka, the vocalist of Slank? He's almost always shirtless on stage, if I'm not mistaken."

I thought to myself, "How do you even know that, Mom?" Then I remembered that my mom was the one who passed the genes of music preference to me.

Song Cover Overload: the (Almost) Full Story

In my previous post, I talked about Dika who shared a cover of Bohemian Rhapsody. Here is the full story (whoa, it sounds important).

My friend Dika is interested in various things. Usually, when he's interested in something, he share anything related to it on facebook. 

Last Sunday he liked Bohemian Rhapsody and he shared some (correction: plenty of) covers on facebook. He told me, "There is a cover of Bohemian Rhapsody by Panic! At The Disco on my YouTube recommendation. I don't open it." I tried to convince him but he didn't want to (duh).

Then he shared an ukulele cover by Jake Shimabukuro and one of his friends commented, "Good cover. Here is another good cover" with a link to Panic! At The Disco's Bohemian Rhapsody cover. I admit I was excited reading that comment. It turned out that Dika's friend also listened to Panic! At The Disco. Yeay! So, finally Dika is convinced to open the video.

After he opened the video, Dika is amused/annoyed/bothered by the comment section. Hahaha... I will talk about it in my next "Talking about Fandom" post.

Song Cover Overload

This is a quick post. I just want to write something but my mind doesn't focus well right now.

My friend Dika shared a cover of Bohemian Rhapsody on facebook then his friend and I commented. They ended up sharing a lot of covers and I ended up watching all of those.

I'll write again after my mind can focus better. 

The Day after My Thesis Exam

On Thursday, March 17, I had thesis exam again with my other two examiners. It went fine. 

After the exam, I accompanied Miss Perfume to wait for her scientific journal editor, her counsellor. We then had a nice conversation with our senior student.

That afternoon, Miss Perfume, Elsa, and I went to karaoke. Miss Perfume chose some Indian songs and when she sang, Elsa and I commented on the videos (the videos are from movie scenes). She also chose "I Want It That Way" by Backstreet Boys and three of us had this "lovely boyband moment" (is that even real?).

Elsa sang some anime soundtracks and Japanese songs which Miss Perfume and I didn't know so we just watched her "perform." She really looked like she was performing on stage while singing in karaoke. Whoa, that girl. 

My choice of songs include "Nine in the Afternoon" by Panic! At The Disco, "Famous Last Words" by My Chemical Romance, "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark" by Fall Out Boy, "Love is on the Radio" by McFly, and "Di Sayidan" by Shaggy Dog. 

I found out that "Nine in the Afternoon" sounded hollow without Brendon Urie's voice. Hahaha... I just couldn't replace his voice (of course!). The song was happy and it was one of the few songs I dared to play before my thesis exam.

"Famous Last Words" was great. I felt relieved to sing, shout, and scream during that song. It was like my mental "burden" during the process of thesis making was lifted when I sang it. The song allowed me to feel angry, frustrated, and sad, but powerful at the same time. Strange, isn't it? Plus, I had microphone to sing, so the effect was better.

"My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark" was another memory. There was a time during the process of thesis writing when I had this big problem (I can’t talk about it, sorry) and I listened to this song over and over again to make myself feel better. It turned out that some parts of that song were a bit too fast for me to sing. I will practice!

To reduce "tension", I sang "Love is on the Radio" by McFly. Elsa and Miss Perfume laughed at the line, "We'll have a son and we'll give him a sister." That line was cute but strange when I sang it, hahaha...

I didn't know why I chose "Di Sayidan". The last time I had listened to it was in high school. I just thought that song was catchy and would be nice to sing and listen to with my friends.

Later that night, I was happy and content. I still had to change some part of my thesis and scientific article, though. 

At this point, I've just realised that my three posts about thesis exam are more like song related posts. Maybe later I will write more scientific posts.

The Day of My Thesis Exam

I realise that I've procrastinated too long to write this story. 

On March, 16th I presented my thesis in front of my examiners but there are more to recall.

In the morning, I checked my presentation slide and I thought it was inappropriate. It only consisted of 10 slides and it would have taken about 5 minutes to present. Too short. I then contacted Miss Perfume and she told me what to add. I ended up with 15 slides. Thanks, Miss Perfume.

I went by a car with my father and my cousin. My dad accompanied me to the meeting room. My cousin parked the car and went somewhere else. 

Now let me talk about the meeting room. So, every department in hospital has a meeting room. I had to present my thesis in meeting room of psychiatry department and, to be honest, I didn't really  like the place. The place was small and there were many people. 

By the time I arrived in front of the meeting room, there was a lecture so I had to wait. I was a little excited and nervous so I put my headphones and played "Stairway to Heaven" by Led Zeppelin in my phone. That song never fails to calm me down.

Then Lady Slytherin came. She had some conversation with my dad and gave me some tips. After that Miss Perfume came. So, four of us waited outside the meeting room. I couldn't keep myself still so I danced to "Ready to Go" that was played in my head. Elsa came a little later after I started my presentation.

Then my exam started. I had 5 examiners but only 3 attend my presentation that day. My presentation went well. However, I couldn't answer the question about molecular biology from my first examiner. Why??!! I need to work it out, I think. I also need to pay more attention to the "rules", like word choice and font. I forgot to make some foreign words italic, duh.

Talking about word choice, my first counsellor told me to use the word "writer" instead of "we", and "study" instead of "research". He also told me to use my own words instead of rewrite someone's words. I did use my own words. Well, I admit, I rewrote at some parts. All right, I'll change that.

My second counsellor responded, "I'm sure that (my name) can write in her own words. She writes a lot in campus magazine and blog." I couldn't help but grin at his comment. My second counsellor was a friendly lecturer and he knew about this blog. I just didn't expect him to mention this blog in a thesis exam. Thankfully, he didn't share my blog address to the other two examiners.

Minutes later, my exam was over. I was relieved.

I still had to have exam with the other two examiners. I contacted them and they could examine me one day later.

In the night, I played "Mad as Rabbits" and "Behind the Sea" by Panic! At The Disco for a little celebration.

Wonderful Caricature of Intimacy (and Some Courtesy)

When I was in middle school, Sweet Raindrop (not her real name) showed me the lyrics of "Build God then We'll Talk" by Panic! At The Disco. Here is a link to the song. I give the link to their "Live in Denver" performance instead of their official music video because: 1. the official music video contains "Porno Mime" and not everyone is comfortable to watch it, 2. Ryan Ross sang some lines in that live version and his voice was damn fine. 

The first time I read the lyrics, I said, "Whoa, it's more like a story than a song." The song tells a story of substandard motels on the corner of 4th and Fremont Street with wonderful caricature of intimacy inside. I had the habit of singing the line, "Inside, what a wonderful caricature of intimacy" when I had to meet fake friends or attend an event that made me uncomfortable. I knew those fake friends and event participants weren't so "wonderful" as the people in the song but still, I felt the need to sing that line.

As I grew up, that habit disappeared. Perhaps because I didn't have to attend "event that made me uncomfortable" so often as before. However, now that I'm in my fangirl phase over Panic! At The Disco, that habit occurs again. The only difference is that I don't sing it aloud. 

It happened a while ago when my mother told me to be courteous so I can keep myself away from trouble. That was difficult. Not that I'm a rude person. I just act aloof when someone makes me uneasy. However, my mom told me to be courteous. What?! Why? How? Then that one line from the song was played in the back of my mind.

In "A Clash of King," it is said that Septa Mordane used to tell Sansa that a lady's armor is courtesy. Sansa took that advice and she stayed alive in King's Landing. I didn't expect my mother would give me the same advice as Septa Mordane. 

I'm not a tenant in substandard motel on the corner of 4th and Fremont Street. My situation is much safer than Sansa Stark's in "A Clash of King". I don't mind some courtesy, either. I'm just not ready to be a lady with proper armor.

I Love You for Sentimental Reasons

Reading the word "sentimental," I remember the song "(I Love You) for Sentimental Reasons" by Ivory "Deek" Watson and William "Pat" Best. I found three versions in YouTube. There are two versions by Deek Watson and The Brown Dots and another version by Nat King Cole. Nat King Cole's version was the one I knew when I heard this song for the first time.

Oxford dictionary defines sentimental as "of the emotions, rather than reason." I then realise that, many times, I fall in love without understanding the reason. I may learn why I love that person later but sometimes I just don't know. Does it mean that I love a person for sentimental reasons? Maybe. Or maybe there are reasons that my subconscious mind understands.

Now I'm in love again, for sentimental reasons, with Ryan Ross. Oh, it's not actual love, just another obsession. After Brendon Urie, now Ryan Ross. I'm not sure when this fangirl phase will end. It is said that once you enter a fandom, you will find it difficult to go out.

Death of a Bachelor

I'm addicted to the song "Death of a Bachelor" by Panic! At The Disco. After My Chemical Romance, now Panic! At The Disco. Help, I'm overwhelmed!

In an interview, Brendon Urie said that the song was inspired by his wife and how he now lived different life. Unfortunately, I can't find the link to that interview video. In I other words, "Death of a Bachelor" is about change in life.

The greatest change in my life, until now, happens after I entered medical school. It was a big decision that I made myself and I, at some points, screw it up. 

If I hadn't been a medical student, I would have been a civil engineering student. That was my second choice. I guess instead of learning how to examine meningeal signs or reading physiology book, I would discuss how to build a strong yet cost-effective bridge or draw a building structure.

Medical school gives me a lot of stories. Some stories are worth to tell, some are meant to be secret. 

I experience failure multiple times in medical school. I even came to the point where I didn't want to try anymore because I felt my trying was useless. 

I procrastinate a lot in medical school. Something that should be taboo considering we have plenty of works to do, material to study, and skill to practice.

I feel frustation many times because I don't understand some subjects. That frustration can lead to feeling of guilt since I remind myself that one day someone's life will depend on my knowledge of the subjects.

I got my first depression, too. And if someday I meet a patient with depression who is reluctant to get medical treatment, I think I will understand that patient. Because I know how it feels to be scared of telling others about your depression.

I also had to deal with mental trauma after sexual assault while, at the same time I had to study some medical stuff. It went badly. The trauma won. I couldn't study well.

However, I have some nice friends in medical school.

They are friends who remind me that happiness and health matter more than good grade. Our knowledge is important but we try to pursue it while keeping our body healthy and our mind sane. We cheer each other when trouble happens. We share gossip, news, and fantasy. We also study and practice OSCE together, in our way. 

I don't know if I would experience these kinds of failure, procrastination, frustration, depression, and friendship had I been a civil engineering student. I can't even imagine how it would have been if I hadn't entered medical school. 

My "bachelor" version died the day I became a medical student. And I don't regret it. Well, maybe sometimes.

Just Look at All That Pain

Recently, I go back to my teenaged-MCR-fangirl mode. I binge watch their videos on YouTube: music videos, the making of the music videos, live performance, and interviews. I feel various emotion hit me, in a good way.

I didn't even know how it started. Oh, maybe I know. Let me remember.

I have been feeling down and when I feel down, I usually project my feeling to a kind of escape. About few weeks ago, I watched Dan and Phil a lot then I remembered Muse. I watched Muse then I remembered my teenaged self. After that I watched My Chemical Romance. Until now.

I started by remembering my two friends who were also drummers years ago. When talking about "Welcome to the Black Parade", one said that the drum playing was crazy, the other one said, "It's played by two drummers. It's impossible for one drummer to play it." Despite listening to music a lot, my ears are never sensitive. Few days ago, I found the drum cover of Welcome to the Black Parade by COOP3RDRUMM3R and the drummer in that video "doubled himself" so yes, the song needs more than one drummer. 

I listened to many of their songs then I remembered the song "Disenchanted". When I think of My Chemical Romance, "Disenchanted" doesn't usually come to my mind but this time it does. After I listened to it again, I felt something strange. I felt sad, longing for something that I have lost, but at the same time, I accepted the losing.

Then I listened to their post-breakup songs. I like Gerard Way's "Brother", Frank Iero's "B.F.F.", and Ray Toro's "Isn't That Something". Listening to "Brother" after "Disenchanted" may not be a good idea because that "strange feeling" was doubled. Frank Iero's "B.F.F." is cute because he performs it with his twin daughters. "Isn't That Something" by Ray Toro is simply amazing. 

I watched the making of Helena video and I was like, "How can I just realise that Frank Iero was adorable?" In that video making process, Ray was like a dad keeping Frank from doing silly thing.

There was also this one interview with Frank Iero and Ray Toro that warmed my heart. A fan asked, "How does it feel when someone tells you that your band saved their life?" Frank said, "I'm happy that we inspired them but they need to give themselves more credit." And Ray added, "We might give them a little push with the song but it's definitely them finding the strength within themselves." 

I guess it's great to know how a band can inspire their fans even after the breakup. They also made their own eulogy, a song entitled "Fake Your Death". The song is honest and quite "raw", with video that contains so many "feels". Just look at all that pain.

"My Chemical Romance is done. But it can never die," Gerard Way said in his "letter", which he closed with, "Because it is not a band- it is an idea." Yes, it is an idea that has inspired my teenaged self. I guess it was an idea that she wanted to keep and I'm thankful for that. Hi my teenaged self, I'm not okay but I am not afraid to keep on living. 

P.S. I've just found out that today's daily prompt is about song. What a coincidence!

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

I recently listen to some old Disney songs and I was captivated by "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" from Cinderella. The song is beautiful and it makes me emotional. I even cried a little bit when I listened to it. I don't know why, I guess it hit the right spot in my brain and I just cried.

There are 3 different versions that I listen to. I first listened to the original version then I found out that Carrie Hope Fletcher did a cover for the song. After that, I listened to Lily James' version. Which version do you like? I like all of them.

What's more interesting is, I find that some people admire how Cinderella could still be happy despite the fact that her stepmother and stepsisters treated her badly. Instead of being depressed, she sang and had faith in her dream. I know many people think that Cinderella is silly because she did nothing to get out of her condition. However let's just face that she was helpless. At that period of time you couldn't go to police and report child abuse. Well, I don't know much about European society back then. If you know anything about it, please write a comment.

The song she sang, "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" carries some messages. Let's take a look at the lyrics first.

A dream is a wish your heart makes

when you're fast asleep

In dream you will lose your heartaches

whatever you wish for you keep

Have faith in your dreams and someday 

your rainbow will come smiling thru

No matter how your heart is grieving,

if you keep on believing the dream that you wish will come true

The first message that I got is everyone needs good sleep. Sleep helps your body maintain its function and clear your mind. That's why treatment for depression often involves keeping good quality of sleep. 

Secondly, the song is about optimism. You wish something and you believe you can get it.

The third message is this song, sung by Cinderella, can be an example of coping mechanism. Coping mechanism or defense mechanism or coping strategy is how people respond to stress. There are many examples of it. The one that Cinderella used is called sublimation. It means channeling stress or uncomfortable feeling into something useful or creative. You can read more about coping strategy here and here.

I think those are nice messages. I know that we don't live in fairy tale and we don't know how our tale will end. It doesn't matter. A little fantasy is always fine and the messages are still good.