Time Machine, Please

I watched "Before You Go", a romantic film from 2014 which I watched just because there was Chris Evans (sorry, I'm in fangirling phase). The film turned out good; it's not something I usually watch, though.

In that film there was a scene where Nick (Chris Evans) and Brooke (Alice Eve) pretended they call their past self and gave advice. Recently I want to do that. 

I used to think that everything happened for a reason so the idea of time machine (or time turner, or time stone, depends on your fandom) to solve problem retrospectively wasn't interesting to me. That changes now, when I'm tired of studying medicine. I'm curious about the possibility of what will happen if I didn't enter medical school in the first place. Will things be better or not? Or what if I did this or that differently? What kind of experience will I get instead?

Don't get me wrong. I don't plan on giving up. I'm just tired.

Talking about Relationship (This Time It's My Story)

So, I want to talk about my current relationship but I don't know where to start. Duh.

Let me try...  My boyfriend and I went to the same primary school, same junior high school, and same senior high school. All those 12 years, we didn't know each other personally. Well, we knew each other's face and name and that's it.

We went to different universities in 2012. Then in 2014 we started chatting online and we always had good conversation. 

As time went by, I thought to myself, "Does he flirt with me?" and yes, he flirted and sometimes he had funny pickup lines that I couldn't help laughing. He still does that. Damn, I smile while writing this. 

However, I hadn't been interested in relationship for years so I just talked to him casually as a friend. I responded to his pickup line with another joke that often made him felt like, "Aaaaaarrrrggghh!!!" 

I told Lady Slytherin about this. I said, "Well, I guess I could like him if he can continue it long enough." She asked, "What if he's tired and he goes finding someone else?" I said, "That's okay. I'm not ready for a relationship anyway."

Recently, I found a blog post that described my feeling about him in the beginning here. That post is about potential love. It says, "Have you ever felt a potential love for someone? Like, you don't actually love them and you know you don't, but you know you could. You realise that you could easily fall in love with them...."

Back to my story, we once met for a few minutes to lend him my book. I forget when that happened. Months later, in June 2017, we agreed to meet in a book store because where else should I go for a first date (book lover mode: on)? We met another high school friend in that book store and this friend looked at us suspiciously. We greeted him and he looked like he wanted to ask question but he didn't ask. He was too shocked, probably.

We went out together five times until finally he asked me to be his girlfriend last November. I had the proclivity to avoiding commitment but I thought again, I always enjoyed my time with him and it didn't hurt to give this relationship a try. He is willing to communicate his thought and opinion. He also lets me do the same. In other words, we're good for each other so I said yes. 

We're finally in a relationship after 3 years. Our friends say that's a long time. Well, it really takes a long time for me to trust someone. It takes me longer to let myself commit to a relationship so that long time is worth spending.

How do I feel about him? He's different. Back in the past, when I had a crush or fell in love, I felt a little uncomfortable. I have come a long way in the term of loving myself. In the past, I often thought too hard on how to impress the guy I liked. With my boyfriend now, I feel all right. We have our fight, of course, but we talk through it. This is why I was once confused about how I felt because love used to make me uncomfortable.

Now if you ask me whether I love him, I will say yes, I do love him.

Story of a Blind Date

It was Saturday afternoon and the boutique is quite crowded. Elza talked to some customers and helped them choose the clothes when suddenly,

"Elza, do you have a plan for next week on Saturday evening?" Ryan asked.

"Actually no. Wait, I'm talking to a customer, you mannerless spongehead," Elza then continued talking to the customer. 

After that, she approached Ryan and asked, "Why did you ask about my plan?"

"First thing first, I don't think it's a good manner to call me mannerless spongehead in front of customers. For your question, I'm going to reserve a table for you in the fancy restaurant on Fremont street, I forget the restaurant's name. Eh, you're still single right?"

"What the hell Ryan? Are you asking me for a date?" Elza rolled her eyes.

"Of course not me, duh. I'm setting you for a blind date," Ryan grinned in his usual childish expression.

"Is this part of a mission? Also, Ryan, everytime you make that face, I have bad feeling," said Elza.

"Relax. You prepare your dress and makeup then have fun," Ryan said then left.

A week later, Ryan drove the car to take Elza.

"Are you still sure that maroon is the right colour for the dress to wear on first date?"

"Ryan, if he's going to date me, he'd better get used to my style," Elza said.

"And you also wear maroon lipstick. Is that necessary?" Ryan asked.

"Yes. Problem?"

The car becomes silent after that.

They arrived at the restaurant then a host greeted them and showed them to the table.

"Rook? Roy?" Elza looked at the man who already sat at the table with a younger guy beside him.

"Oh, hi Rook. I see that my brother Roy took you here earlier."

"Explain this, Ryan," Rook glared at Ryan.

"You two enjoy your dinner. Eh, Roy, give your car key to Rook. I'll drive you home. Don't get involved in their adult business, kid. Now, do you want to play Mario Kart?" Ryan pulled Roy's shoulder after Roy gave Rook his car key.

"So, did Ryan..." 

"Yes, that spongehead told me that he set me up for a blind date," Elza cut Rook's question.

"And you agreed?"

"You also agreed."

"Well... Uhm, anyway, you look stunning in that dress," Rook said. "I still hate you, though," he added quickly.

"You also look fine in suit and I still hate you," Elza retorted.

They both ate in silence then Elza noticed that Rook started getting sweaty.

"It's hot, eh? I'm surprised that you don't take off your jacket."

"Ryan says that a gentleman should never take off his jacket. I'm a gentleman so I don't take off my jacket," said Rook.

"Correct. Ryan knows such rule but he doesn't follow it. What a spongehead."

Rook smiled hearing that. "Do you want to go somewhere else after this?" he asked.

"Yes, please. Take me to game centre. We'll rock the place with this attire."

"As you wish," Rook laughed.



P.S. This is another fanfic of "Children of Altar" (sorry, hahaha...). I struggle with description in this fic. I could imagine their dialogue but I had no idea what to write aside from the dialogue. If you can give me advice then please kindly comment. Thank you.

Also, that part where Rook didn't take off his jacket was inspired by a video of Patrick Stump getting advice from older gentleman.

I never go to formal dinner at fancy restaurant so if I make mistake in this story, please tell me. I did my research but I could still make mistake.

Tips on Saving Money

I'm a bit of an impulsive buyer. However, recently my behaviour is turned down because a) I have come to my sense that I will not really need those things I want to buy, b) I have meager budget.

That leads me to an article "8 Simple Ways to Save Money" by Better Money Habits from Bank of America because I need to save money to support my impulsive shopping, right? (I don't have the right motivation, sorry). Let's review the tips.

1. Record your expenses: to be honest, I'm lazy to write expense record. However, as I recall my expenses, I spend so much money for food and makeup. Damn.

2. Make a budget: this sounds difficult but I may try.

3. Plan on saving money: I do plan on it, that's why I read that article. However, I'm often tempted to use my saved money for something else that wasn't intended at first.

4. Choose something to save for: I've mentioned my problem in point no. 3

5. Decide on your priorities: well... food is important. Okay, I'll be more careful about spending money on food then.

6. Pick the right tool: I don't intend to save my money for something big so...

7. Make saving automatic: on a side note, the saved money I talk about in no. 3 is not the money I save in bank. My money in bank is quite untouched since they're for my need in far future.

8. Watch your savings grow: I'm ready for this.

So yeah, wish me luck on spending and saving my money better.

Swim!

It was a peaceful Sunday morning. Roy played the Witcher on his laptop and suddenly... "Roy, take a bath and let's go!" Ryan shouted.

"No."

"Come on!" Ryan wrestled Roy and managed to shut down the laptop in the process.

"I hate you! I was continuing my game and you shut it down."

"Take a bath, we'll go swimming."

"Why should I take a bath? I'll get wet again once I swim," Roy retorted.

"You stink," Ryan said.

They walked to the public swimming pool and Roy asked, "What is it Ryan? You don't like swimming."

"Are you scared? Don't worry, the pool is shallow enough for you."

"No kidding. I'm a better swimmer between us and seriously, since when do you get excited to swim?"

"Well, actually that's the point. We have to add swimming to our training regime."

"Sounds all right. But we don't really have to worry, do we? I mean, those Salty Spitoon visitors don't come to us and challenge to fight."

"What is Salty Spitoon?" Ryan asked.

"Ryan, you don't watch Spongebob?"

Dig the Ground, Satan

"By the way, I bought you a book today," Ryan handed Roy the book.

"Thank you, but A Clash of Kings? Why, Ryan? I haven't even read A Game of Thrones," said Roy.

Ryan answered, "Actually, I bought you A Game of Thrones long time ago. I buried it in our backyard."

"You what?"

"I put the book in a wooden box and bury it in our backyard. We have shovel or hoe there, take it. Consider it a game of treasure hunting."

"What the hell, Ryan? What mistake did I make to have a brother like you?" Roy groaned in disbelief.

"Just dig the ground, satan. Also please appreciate my effort to make the present more interesting."

Note: this story is continuation of my post, "Sunday Morning, 11 a.m." Well yeah, Ryan is so extra.

Sunday Morning, 11 a.m

The prompt today is "jangle". I didn't know the meaning so I looked up Oxford dictionary online. They also give sentence example, "Ryan stood on the terrace jangling his keys." So I think I would just continue that sentence.

Ryan stood on the terrace jangling his keys. He was just home after wandering around the bookstore to find a book for his little brother, Roy. Talking about Roy, Ryan saw his brother's motorcycle was still parked and the doors and windows were all still closed. "That satan hasn't woken up yet," Ryan thought to himself.

He came into the house and shout, "Roy, wake up! It's 11 already," then heard the answer, "It's Sunday!"

"By the way, I got a missed call from Don. What's up? Do you two have problem?" Ryan asked.

"Why would Don call you?" Roy responded while gaining his consciousness.

--------------------------------------------

The characters Roy and Don are taken from the ongoing series on Wattpad, Children of Altar. It's written by my friend. Check that out and give feedback. 

Also, I don't really know about sibling relationship and in real life I don't know any of my friends' siblings personally so I have no idea how to continue my story above. What would make someone call their friend's brother? What can make you trust your friend so you give them your brother's contact number?

By the way, did I just make a fanfic with original character? Hahaha...

Mess

She's home again. Sitting in her room, infinite sadness in her eyes. "That home is a mess. Why don't you just leave?" people would tell her. "This is the mess I'm comfortable with," she wants to say.

Quick Visit, I Promise

Crossing the road to visit you, I said hello. It's a quick visit, I promise. No hug, no kiss. Just want to hold hands and see each other. Later we can continue with our own lives. Open the door, please. 

Shattered Glass

We are glass
and glass is 
dangerous
when
it's shattered

Those who 
break us
should've
known this
first

P.S. Some things cause me mental breakdown recently then I got this idea while waiting for my working time.

The Moon and Two Songs

The prompt is moon and I instantly think about a part in Northern Downpour lyrics, "Hey moon, please forget to fall down," and that part in When the Day Met the Night, "When the moon fell in love with the sun, all was golden in the sky. All was golden when the day met the night."

Also, the moon looks beautiful tonight seen from my place.

(Internet) Friend of Different Belief

A while ago, I saw a picture in instagram. It's a picture of Marissa Sitompul and Ria Ricis. In that picture, they pray before meal. They position their hands differently because they have different religions. On that picture, there is a text, "Sahabat, perbedaan yang membuat kita satu." It means, "Friend, difference is what makes us one." It's a nice picture with good message. They praise the same God whom they call differently (some people may say they praise different gods) while still being friends.

I'm a muslim and my close girl friends in real life are all muslims. However, I have one good internet girl friend of different religion. Wait, no. She doesn't even have religion. She's an atheist.

I've known her for about 7 years. Our friendship is built on weird and sometimes deep conversation. After seeing that instagram picture, I decided to send her a screenshot. I felt strange doing that because we don't usually send "cute thing". 

Under the screenshot, I wrote to her, "That's us? But you don't pray, I don't wear hijab, and I don't lift my hands for prayer before meal. And we're internet friends."

At first she didn't understand. After I explained about the message behind the picture, she said, "I am drinking cognac with pelmeni. And I didn't lift my hands before the meal."

I responded, "I don't either. I drink tea with banana cake."

Whom Will You Listen to Music with?

A while ago, a friend of mine shared in facebook about his Spotify Game of Thrones character. It is to find out which Game of Thrones character you will listen to music with. If you're curious, you can try it here.

I tried that and my Game of Thrones match is Joffrey Baratheon. It was because my Spotify playlist was 65% emo. I laughed when I saw the result. After getting the result, I could see "The Honoured Playlist of King Joffrey Baratheon" and I found "Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance. Great.

I actually hoped I shared music taste with the characters I admire, like Tyrion Lannister, Olenna Tyrell, or Podrick Payne. However, considering that Joffrey listened to My Chemical Romance, I don't mind listening to music with him as long as he doesn't harm me or my family. Oh well, he won't because 1) he's fictional, 2) he has joined the black parade (but not as the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned).

Now let's play the G note.

My First Ship

In fandom, there is the term "ship". This is where you want characters to have relationship. It doesn't only happen in fiction fandom but also in music fandom. It happens in most fandoms, I guess (I say most because maybe there is a fandom that doesn't have ship).

I don't like shipping. I once wrote in my post "Confession of a Fanfic Reader" that I prefer friendship. 

However, one day, out of nowhere, I got a shipping idea. I didn't even simply ship two fictional characters or such. I shipped an internet friend of mine with someone in one of my fandoms. For a few weeks, I searched in the internet for the right wedding dress and veil for the bride. I browsed wedding flowers and what kind of party they would have. I even came to the point where I imagined their wedding vow.

That imagination doesn't come to my mind anymore. Maybe the wind blows the ship to somewhere faraway. A good place, I hope.

Still, I prefer friendship to romance.

Slow Romantic Activity

Today's prompt is "slowly". I instantly think about romantic stuffs like slow dance and slow kiss. 

I'm not a fan of romance but still, I think those slow romantic activities sounds sweet, lovely, beautiful, etc. Although in some situation they make me cringe (sorry).

However, I don't think I will be able to do any romantic thing slowly because I'm awkward and sometimes overly excited. It means that if I have romantic feeling on someone, I would either do nothing (to avoid awkwardness) or do something silly (because I can't contain my excitement). That something silly includes me talking fast and trying hard not to grin too wide. 

My behaviour makes me wonder about some things. How can people dance slowly with their loved ones? You're couple and you don't hug and jump through the music? Even if the song is slow, you may want to jump a little? How can the bride in Western wedding walk down the aisle? It's your wedding day, you're getting married, you don't want to run or jump? How can you kiss slo... Oh wait, I don't even want to know about that now. 

Please be kind to answer my questions. This is for research (not really, I'm just curious).

Dress Shopping

"This dress looks funny," you pointed a dress.
"Oh, that mermaid cut dress?"
"It's called mermaid cut? Well, I want to try it."
You hurried into dressing room before I could respond.
"Do I look like Ariel now?" You asked while posing.
"Hahaha... Yeah, but instead of trying to be human, you ask the prince to be merman."
"That sounds like something you would do. Oh God, this dress is difficult to walk in," you said.
"That's a mermaid dress. Maybe you should swim instead?"
We wandered around the shop again. You tried on dress after dress while making some jokes (well, actually I made more jokes).
"You know, wearing these dresses makes me feel like a fairy tale character. Once I'm a mermaid, then I'm a princess with ball gown ready for masquerade, another time I'm a Greek goddess who blesses and curses anytime I want. I like them but I feel weird to wear them."
"Maybe we can try to look for tea length dress. It may suit your carefree vibes better. I mean, you don't have to wear long dress in your wedding," I offer.
"Really? I'm allowed to do that? Why didn't you tell me earlier? I thought those white midi dresses are for bridesmaids."
"I thought you knew. Have you ever read any wedding related stuff?" I asked in disbelief.
"Never. That's part of your duty as bridesmaid."
I facepalmed.

P.S. 
"Why isn't there any bridal shop assistant in this fic?"
"Because it's fiction (?) I want it that way."

Walk under the Rain (and Frog Quiz)

I'll walk under the rain in this journey with you. No, it won't be like that beautiful rainy scene in any movie. We will just be two people that dance and sing while getting wet, like frogs. You're a Pacific tree frog and I'm white's tree frog.

P.S. Find out what kind of frog you are in this quiz.

Voronezh or Sarov

"I've always wanted to visit Russia," I told the Russian scientist.

"You have nothing to do in Russia."

"I want to watch ballet in Bolshoi. Seriously."

"Eheu! Ballet in theatre. Red square. **** that. If you want to visit Russia, go to Voronezh or Sarov."

"What can I do in Voronezh or Sarov?"

"Drink bad beer, smoke a cigarette, and start hating the world."

"I neither drink beer or smoke but I can take part on that 'hating the world' "

"You will start when you arrive in Voronezh."


Note:

• The conversation above actually happened between a Russian friend and me. I searched for Voronezh and Sarov in Google and I found that Voronezh looks like typical European city while Sarov, as Wikipedia said, is closed as it is the Russian centre for nuclear research. If you have ever visited or even lived in Voronezh, could you please tell me why my friend said that way about the city?
• "Eheu!" is Latin word which means "Alas!" or "Oh my God!" (according to Google translate and my friend).
• Just in case you know me in real life and worry about my health, I feel the need to state this once again. I don't smoke. I don't drink alcoholic beverage.

When You Lose Your Playful Mood

I haven't felt well lately but I have been in playful mood. I studied for comprehensive exam then I made something like cubeecraft or flower crown. I was just excited to make crafts that I felt okay despite the illness.

My mood changed when I heard a bad news from a friend. A friend of mine, also a medical student, has been lost since Saturday. By "lost" I really mean that no one sees him or hear anything from him. He didn't even bring his phone.

It's sad. Now we, all of his friends, are worried. His parents have informed the police and we try to contact and inform as many people as possible to help us, just in case anyone sees our friend.

The illness almost doesn't bother me at all now because this bad news has bothered me enough.

Not Allowed

"May I take care of your scar?"

"No. Every scar has story and I haven't allowed you to enter my story. Beside, it's scar, not wound. I can deal with it."

"Will you ever allow me? I just want to help."

"I don't know."