Whom Will You Listen to Music with?

A while ago, a friend of mine shared in facebook about his Spotify Game of Thrones character. It is to find out which Game of Thrones character you will listen to music with. If you're curious, you can try it here.

I tried that and my Game of Thrones match is Joffrey Baratheon. It was because my Spotify playlist was 65% emo. I laughed when I saw the result. After getting the result, I could see "The Honoured Playlist of King Joffrey Baratheon" and I found "Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance. Great.

I actually hoped I shared music taste with the characters I admire, like Tyrion Lannister, Olenna Tyrell, or Podrick Payne. However, considering that Joffrey listened to My Chemical Romance, I don't mind listening to music with him as long as he doesn't harm me or my family. Oh well, he won't because 1) he's fictional, 2) he has joined the black parade (but not as the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned).

Now let's play the G note.

My First Ship

In fandom, there is the term "ship". This is where you want characters to have relationship. It doesn't only happen in fiction fandom but also in music fandom. It happens in most fandoms, I guess (I say most because maybe there is a fandom that doesn't have ship).

I don't like shipping. I once wrote in my post "Confession of a Fanfic Reader" that I prefer friendship. 

However, one day, out of nowhere, I got a shipping idea. I didn't even simply ship two fictional characters or such. I shipped an internet friend of mine with someone in one of my fandoms. For a few weeks, I searched in the internet for the right wedding dress and veil for the bride. I browsed wedding flowers and what kind of party they would have. I even came to the point where I imagined their wedding vow.

That imagination doesn't come to my mind anymore. Maybe the wind blows the ship to somewhere faraway. A good place, I hope.

Still, I prefer friendship to romance.

Don't Need to Fear a Hand for Help

A while ago, I discovered a song "Where I Belong" by Ryan Ross. You can listen to it in soundcloud. I also find fan-made lyrics video in YouTube (turn on the subtitle).

If you read the YouTube comments, you will see that many of them talk about the line, "I know I should've never left." They think that perhaps he regrets leaving Panic! At The Disco and they get "feels" from that line. I admit, at first I also got "feels" from it.

However, as I listen to the song over, I got hit by the lines "Don't need to fear a hand for help." Damn it, Ryan Ross.

That one line reminds me of myself. Many times I find myself in big problem and I don't ask for help. I usually think, "It's not a big deal. I'm fine. I can solve it." When I finally can't solve it, and the problem reaches crisis, that's when I ask for help. Often I get asked, "Why didn't you just tell me earlier?" Difficult question. I can't answer that. I really don't have valid reason about why I don't ask for help earlier. Maybe it's because I'm emotionally reserved, or I'm secretly afraid of something wrong that might happen if I ask for help. Maybe I just can't trust people easily. 

Well, I guess I need to gather courage to ask for help with some unsolved problems because, as Ryan Ross said, "This war ain't gonna fix itself." 

Sanctuary in Warm Hug

Today's prompt is sanctuary. Reading that word, my mind wasn't directed to certain place but to warm hug. From that, I started to think that I read fanfic too often.

I don't remember if I ever give warm hug. I usually just give casual hug or side hug. However, I like hug scene in fiction, be it friendly hug, brotherly hug, or romantic hug. It just seems warm and comfortable. Often, the character feels safe and protected while being hugged. That's why I associate the word sanctuary with warm hug; because of fiction, or fanfic.

It is said that hug can increase oxytocin release. According to Marieb and Hoehn (2013), as neurotransmitter, oxytocin is involved in sexual and affectionate behaviour. It promotes nurturing, couple bonding, and trust.

What about reading hug scene? Do I experience oxytocin release while reading hug scene? If Does it mean that I'm affected in the matter of nurturing, couple bonding, and trust? It that's true, it may explain our emotional bonding to fictional character.

On a side note, since oxytocin promotes trust, do not hug someone you don't want to trust. Do not even imagine hugging a fictional character you don't want to trust. Really, we can't be sure about oxytocin and its magic.

P.S.

Oxytocin acts as both hormone and neurotransmitter. As hormone, oxytocin is involved in uterine contraction (during labor) and milk ejection.

If you can explain more about oxytocin or if you think I make mistake in this post (or in any post), please let me know.

Talking about Fandom: the Feels

In fandom there is the term "feeling" which is shortened to "feels". It is that moment when you feel overwhelmed by something. You may call it sadness but it's different kind of sadness. It's just difficult to describe so we simply call it "feels".

If you want to see some examples, I once wrote a post entitled "Jleb" Harry Potter Moments. Yeah, it's quite similar to "jleb" in Indonesian.

However, no matter how overwhelming it is, we often intentionally hit ourselves with "feels". Here are two examples. Harry Potter fans know that Fred Weasley's death was sad but they still search in the internet for meme or fanfic or anything related to it, only to get struck with "feels" afterward. My Chemical Romance fans can get "feels" only by listening to any of their song but still, they listen to the songs, watch the videos on YouTube, watch past interviews, or read old articles. 

Why do we do that? Is it like when we fall in love? I mean, when we fall in love, we experience increase of dopamine and oxytocin. According to Marieb and Hoehn (2013), dopamine is "feel good" neurotransmitter; the ecstasy of romantic love may be just a brain bath of glutamate and norepinephrine, which act on the reward system to release dopamine. Oxytocin, on the other hand, promotes nurturing, couple bonding, and trust.

Questions:

1. Is our feeling in fandom similar to those of people who fall in love? Or is it just obsession?

2. If it's because of dopamine, why do we feel this strange emotion? Dopamine is supposed to make us feel good, right? Why do I feel miserable instead?

3. How long does it normally last?

Well, I guess for those who are not in fandom, it may sound like we punish ourselves. However, for people involved in fandom, it's just a normal activity. We sometimes even think, "I'm in the good mood for sad fanfic. Let me search and read. Don't disturb me while I'm suffering with this mess called 'feels'!"

Also, if you're interested in learning neurology, psychiatry, and fandom psychology, I have those three questions above. You may use it for research idea or something. 

Slow Romantic Activity

Today's prompt is "slowly". I instantly think about romantic stuffs like slow dance and slow kiss. 

I'm not a fan of romance but still, I think those slow romantic activities sounds sweet, lovely, beautiful, etc. Although in some situation they make me cringe (sorry).

However, I don't think I will be able to do any romantic thing slowly because I'm awkward and sometimes overly excited. It means that if I have romantic feeling on someone, I would either do nothing (to avoid awkwardness) or do something silly (because I can't contain my excitement). That something silly includes me talking fast and trying hard not to grin too wide. 

My behaviour makes me wonder about some things. How can people dance slowly with their loved ones? You're couple and you don't hug and jump through the music? Even if the song is slow, you may want to jump a little? How can the bride in Western wedding walk down the aisle? It's your wedding day, you're getting married, you don't want to run or jump? How can you kiss slo... Oh wait, I don't even want to know about that now. 

Please be kind to answer my questions. This is for research (not really, I'm just curious).

Dress Shopping

"This dress looks funny," you pointed a dress.
"Oh, that mermaid cut dress?"
"It's called mermaid cut? Well, I want to try it."
You hurried into dressing room before I could respond.
"Do I look like Ariel now?" You asked while posing.
"Hahaha... Yeah, but instead of trying to be human, you ask the prince to be merman."
"That sounds like something you would do. Oh God, this dress is difficult to walk in," you said.
"That's a mermaid dress. Maybe you should swim instead?"
We wandered around the shop again. You tried on dress after dress while making some jokes (well, actually I made more jokes).
"You know, wearing these dresses makes me feel like a fairy tale character. Once I'm a mermaid, then I'm a princess with ball gown ready for masquerade, another time I'm a Greek goddess who blesses and curses anytime I want. I like them but I feel weird to wear them."
"Maybe we can try to look for tea length dress. It may suit your carefree vibes better. I mean, you don't have to wear long dress in your wedding," I offer.
"Really? I'm allowed to do that? Why didn't you tell me earlier? I thought those white midi dresses are for bridesmaids."
"I thought you knew. Have you ever read any wedding related stuff?" I asked in disbelief.
"Never. That's part of your duty as bridesmaid."
I facepalmed.

P.S. 
"Why isn't there any bridal shop assistant in this fic?"
"Because it's fiction (?) I want it that way."

Walk under the Rain (and Frog Quiz)

I'll walk under the rain in this journey with you. No, it won't be like that beautiful rainy scene in any movie. We will just be two people that dance and sing while getting wet, like frogs. You're a Pacific tree frog and I'm white's tree frog.

P.S. Find out what kind of frog you are in this quiz.