Songs That Sounds Like Fiction

Yesterday's prompt is "stairway" and my mind instantly remember the song Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin.  I mention that song several times in this blog, by the way. 

Stairway to Heaven is one of those songs which lyrics sound like fiction. The story features a lady who is buying a stairway to heaven. My favourite is the live version in Madison Square Garden, New York city, 1973. Not only that we can listen to longer solo guitar by Jimmy Page, we can also watch Robert Plant's gesture. Robert Plant did look like telling a story in that live version.

Another fiction-like song is Hotel California by Eagles. It tells a story about a hotel on a dark desert highway but it later turns out that the hotel is only programmed to receive. I looked for the live version and I found this video. I was surprised to see that the singer also played drum. That was rare for me. On a side note, my favourite part of that song lyrics is "This could be heaven or this could be hell." That describes my life choice.

I also like Temple of the King by Rainbow. For some unknown reasons, everytime I listen to that song, I remember Kung Fu Panda. The strong young man in that song is Po and the temple of the king is Jade Palace. Really, I'm stuck with that messed up interpretation. I'm sorry, Ritchie Blackmore. I usually listen to this version but when I searched for the live version, I found this.

And finally, another song that sounds like fiction - which I happen to mention a lot in this blog - is Build God then We'll Talk by Panic! At The Disco. The song sets in a substandard motel and the characters are an attorney, his Mrs., and a virgin. The attorney cheated with the virgin but his Mrs. chose to stay with him: wonderful caricature of intimacy. How did Ryan Ross get the idea for the lyrics? My favourite version of that song is from Live in Denver because we can listen to Brendon Urie's vocal, watch his expression and gesture (he really told a story), and listen to Ryan Ross' damn-fine part.

Oh, by the way, I think it would be nice if someone write fiction based on any song lyrics in this post. Write about that lady with stairway to heaven. What will happen to her and the stairway? Will she take someone or some people to walk on the stairway with her? Write about that person in Hotel California. What will happen to him? Will he try to escape or accept his fate? Write about that strong young man. Will the king give him task or something? Write about the people in that motel. What will happen to the virgin after she begins to work at the firm? What does the Mrs. keep in her purse? Will the lawyer leave his Mrs or stay with her?

Out of Place

They stood in the corner. She wrote in her small notebook, he drew sketches. Both seemed out of place in the masquerade ball.

"Oh, you draw the lady with purple dress over there? Her hair is wavy. You draw her wrong," she said to him.

He retort, "Would you please shut up and go back to your writing? What do you write anyway?" Then he took her notebook and read while mimicking her voice, "A newlywed man play single on the dance floor."

Even when his face was covered with a mask, she could tell he was surprised. "What?" She asked.

"What was that supposed to mean? Play single? How did you even know that he's newlywed?"

"I just know," she replied. "Hey, would you like to dance? After that you can approach that lady in purple dress."

"I can't dance and I don't want to approach that lady."

"Put your paper and pencil in your pocket. I'll teach you how to dance and talk to a lady," she said while grabbing his right wrist.

"I talk to you all the time."

"All right, correction then. I'll teach you how to dance and talk to a lady other than me."

P.S. I've never gone to a ball or masquerade so if this story sounds unlikely, please tell me. 

Sansa Stark and Girl's Struggle

Game of Thrones season 6 is going to air soon. I'm a Game of Thrones completely internet fan. It means that I don't watch the entire show and I don't read the entire books either. I get information here and there from the internet and I can still call myself a fan, can't I?

I'm curious about Sansa's fate in season 6. Rumour says she will do good. I hope so because Sansa is my favourite character.

Why is Sansa my favourite character? Because, in my opinon, Sansa Stark is relatable. I guess every girl or woman, at some points in their life can relate to Sansa. There must be one time when a girl wants to speak up or put up a fight but hold herself because she remembers that "a lady's armor is courtesy" so she put her armor of courtesy to protect herself, to keep herself alive. If you consider that a weakness, then you don't understand. Some girls don't have many choices and all they want is to be alive and safe, and safe can be defined in various ways.

I also adore Arya. Many times I want to fight like Arya but I remember that I don't live in Westeros and I can't stab people as I want. I don't even know how to handle a sword. I think Sansa also wants to fight like Arya sometimes but she is aware that she can't do that. 

After all, those Stark sisters show and remind me the struggle of being a girl.

Opening Up about My Mental Condition

On the last few days I experienced burnout and worse, it happened when I had to finalise my thesis editing and write scientific article. Worse, the registration for graduation ceremony in June has been opened. Worse, my mom was anxious and she told me to hurry up and finish everything so I could graduate in June.

I don't really like it when someone tells me to hurry up, especially when I get a bad case of burnout.

That time, I decided to tell my mom, "I can't think and work quickly like I did when I was at school. Now it's easy for me to get mentally exhausted and when it happens, I can't do anything. I just can't."

It was relieving to say that. Seriously. Finally I told someone of my family about my mental condition and I felt great. It doesn't mean that I got better right after I told my mom. And my mom may not take me to psychologist or psychiatrist. I'm just happy from the fact that I finally opened up about my mental condition. 

After I said that, my mom answered, "Well, let's just hope that you can finish it well." I think she understands.

I told my friend about it and he said, "I guess all you need is emotional support?" That response hit me because I never really cared about emotional support. Maybe because, in my opinion, being in this condition for a long time, I'm used to feeling it alone. Burnout after burnout, sometimes even depression, and I don't tell my family about how I feel. I often think to myself that I can deal with it alone because that's how it works for me: burnout or depression comes, I suffer, and it ends then I live normally, after that it comes again, I suffer again then it ends, and the cycle repeats many times.

That day I learned that telling someone about my mental condition doesn't heal me right but it does make me feel better, even just a bit.

Hyperventilating Fangirl

I like Panic! At The Disco but I don't know all of their songs. Today was the first time I heard the song "She Had the World" and I loved it. The song was beautiful and I got teary eyes from the emotion. After that, I heard the part where Ryan sang and I made hyperventilating noise.

I didn't really have difficulty in breathing when listening to Ryan Ross. It was just kind of habit. I don't always like his voice but when his voice is damn fine (in my opinion), I make hyperventilating noise. I haven't found out why. I know that some psychological condition like panic attack can cause real hyperventilation but I didn't experience panic attack. I experience Panic! At The Disco attack. Are they the same thing? I don't think so.

Idea for next research or whatever: cause of hyperventilation among fangirl. Anyone involved in fandom and interested in pulmonology and neuropsychiatry? Here I've given you idea.

Burnout

I have short attention span.

Short attention span plus burnout equals mental torture to me, and that happens now.

Two days ago I wrote preface for my thesis. It was a standard preface and I had gotten the format from my friend. It was an easy task. However, bringing myself to type a lecturer's name in preface was already a mental workout for me. 

I still haven't written scientific article and I don't know when I can start. How can I write if I can't even think about it?

The registration for graduation ceremony started a few days ago and it will be closed on May 5th. I hope I can finish my article before May 5th.

I hope I can get over this burnout.

I Feel Done

I've ever mentioned in this blog that I was interested in psychiatry. I still am. However, after writing thesis with psychiatry topic, I feel done.

I once considered being a psychiatrist but after months of writing psychiatry-related thesis, I changed my mind. I have come to realisation that psychiatry is not for me. It's interesting but I will learn it as a hobby (now I sound like Saitama from One Punch Man), otherwise I will drain my mental energy.

I haven't figured out which medical career path that I want to choose.