Poem Taken From a Newspaper Item

by Manuel Bandeira

Sweet Johnny was a porter in the open market and lived in a numberless shack on Babylon Hill
One night he went into Twentieth of November Bar
He drank
He sang
He danced
Then he threw himself into Rodrigo de Freitas lagoon and died drowned

I first found this poem from a book by Sapardi Djoko Damono, entitled "Bilang Begini Maksudnya Begitu" and it was the Indonesian version. Then I found that English version from the internet, from google book "Brazilian Women Speak: Contemporary Life Stories". 

Here is the Indonesian version.

Sajak Berdasarkan Sebuah Berita di Koran

Si John Periang adalah seorang pesuruh di Pasar Petani dan tinggal di Bukit Babilonia di sebuah gubuk yang tak bernomor
Pada suatu malam ia pergi ke Warung Dua Puluh November
Ia minum
Ia menyanyi
Ia menari
Kemudian ia menceburkan diri ke dalam Telaga Rodrigo de Freitas dan Tenggelam

I may write more about poems in the upcoming posts. I don't promise.

Green Things in My Fandoms

The prompt is "green" so I'm just going to brainstrom some green things in fandom.

Green is the colour of Slytherin. It's the house of those cunning folks who use any means to achieve their ends.

Harry Potter has green eyes. It is said that Harry has his mother's eyes. Rowling said if they were casting Lily, there needed to be a resemblance (in the eyes) but they don't absolutely have to be green.

The killing curse Avada Kedavra produces green light. On a side note, when writing this, I suddenly want to do flame test experiment and create green flame. I will ask my mother later. She's a chemistry teacher by the way.

House Tyrell has golden rose on green field as their sigil. They rule the Reach, the most fertile region and thus, the greenest part of Westeros.

There is a song by Panic! At The Disco called That Green Gentleman. I like the lyrics, "Things have changed for me and that's okay, I feel the same, I'm on my way." What I don't understand is the title. Why is the gentleman green? Why is the song given that title? Who wrote the lyrics and who gave the title? What did he think when he pick the title? Then I realise that the only sensible answer is, "Because it's a song by Panic! At The Disco."

I realise that I can't find any green thing related to My Chemical Romance. Well, Gerard Way hasn't dyed his hair green, has he?

Some Places, Real and Fictional

I don't travel a lot and I haven't been so faraway from home. I would love to. There are places I want to visit, both real and fictional.

In real world, Russia is still on the top of my places-to-visit list. I want to watch ballet in Bolshoi Theatre or take Trans Siberian railway journey.

In fictional world, I want to visit Westeros after the place is safe and peaceful enough. But when? We can't be sure.

Westeros can be a great place to visit. From the cold North to fertile region of the Reach then to the desert of Dorne. I even consider taking Lady Slytherin to Westeros if she doesn't mind. She's not much into "A Song of Ice and Fire" but I guess she will agree to travel once Westeros is safe. 

Lady Slytherin is a fan of J. R. R. Tolkien so she may take me to Middle Earth in return. She has always wanted to go to there to meet Thranduil and rule the realm together. Let them rule, I will just visit the Shire. 

Another fictional place to visit, recommended by Elsa, is Cerulean City. I don't know much about Pokemon but I think it would be a nice place to visit. If I happen to visit Cerulean City, I surely will hire Elsa to be my tour guide.

I ended up writing one real place and three fictional places. It may explain enough about my perspective.

In the Morning

She looked at her right leg, at the dark temporary tattoo contrasting her pale skin. Its colour started to fade. "I need to buy a new one," she thought to herself. She considered having a new one on her waist, or her shoulder; anywhere only she could see it.

Once she wore her long skirt, the tattoo is covered.

Then she put on coral lipstick and practiced her smile. 

She was ready to face the day.

Talking about Fandom: That Moment When You Can't Function

The prompt today is clarity. Why is the prompt "clarity" when I can't think clearly now? 

My feeling is wrecked by an abandoned fanfic. Plus, the author abandoned it in an emotional part where the problem hadn't been solved and now I'm flooded with affection toward the main character. How I want to hug him and tell him everything is all right and he is enough. It may sound silly but that's what I feel now.

Have you ever felt that kind of emotion for someone you don't even know in person? Fiction readers deal with that many times. Anyone involved in fandom deals with that.

However, not many people understand that feeling so that may be the reason why there is fandom community in internet. You can find it in the form of blog, discussion forum, pinterest board, instagram account, YouTube videos, or anything. It's like a support group where fans share stories and understand each other.

Such community can either push you further into the depth of emotional valley or help you get up and face the real world. I experience both.

After a while, things will be better and I hope we can function again. We, fandom "residents" can always face both real and fictional world. We are strong enough.

Z Berg's Personal Narrative

A few days ago I opened Ryan Ross' facebook page and scrolled a bit too far through it. Don't ask me why I did that.

I found a post from 2014 about Z Berg's EP. In the last paragraph, he said, "If I had to offer one piece of advice: Write a song that moves people, and write it from within yourself. Your personal narrative is more engaging and moving than anything else you can imagine in your mind. Z writes real, personal songs, and that's why they're as powerful as they are."

I listened from soundcloud and my first impression was, I felt comfortable to listen to the songs, even before I understood the lyrics.

I like the song Charades. On a side note, when I read the word "charades" I felt familiar then I realised that my family car is Daihatsu Charade. Fine, then.

I searched for the lyrics and found them on Z Berg's bandcamp. That moment, I understood what Ryan Ross meant with "real, personal songs." The lyrics are honest but not brutal. They're beautiful, delicate even. 

The lyrics for "Killing Time" song touched me. It talks about dysfunctional relationship (I guess) and instead of expressing direct anger or sadness, this song expresses a kind of frustration. It's the feeling when your common sense tells you something is wrong but you convince yourself that it's all right. What kind of feeling is that? This time, I still call that frustation, and it doesn't only happen in relationship.

In some ways, I find the song "I Fall for the Same Face" funny. It reminds me of that time when I was a teenager and I was always attracted to guys who, have almost similar features. Even my friends could see which guy I would be interested in because it was quite predictable.

And that was how I found comfort in listening to a songwriter's - as Ryan Ross said - personal narrative.

I Try Spotify

Daphne from Volume Up wrote a post "5 Ways to Discover Your New Favorite Band" and she suggested Spotify as her first recommendation.

There are two versions: free and premium. I try the free version (it's called free version, right?). As far as I know, in premium version, there won't be any advertisement in random time between songs. 

I chose only a few songs so the list doesn't look overwhelming because I always have the urge to delete files when the folder is full but don't know which file to delete.

I started with Panic! At The Disco (when will this fangirling phase be over?) and only chose maximum three songs from each album. Then I found the album Welcome to the Black Parade by My Chemical Romance and I thought, "I like all of them. I will feel guilty to leave any song out," so I added all of them to the list. Of course I also put Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin.

I haven't tried any songs in my "Discover" feature. There are so many of them and I still have many times to discover.

Instead, I tried the "Radio", chose rock genre, and found a song called "For What It's Worth" by Buffalo Springfield. I later found out that Buffalo Springfield was an old rock band. My mom's influence, again.

As someone whose musical routine often depends on YouTube (yes, that's me), I think Spotify is nice. It's a music streamer so it doesn't take too long time to load and listen to the music. Saying that makes me feel like I cheat on YouTube by the way.